Parshat Matos teaches that, in some situations, a husband is able to annul his wife's vows. If a married woman makes a large philanthropic pledge, must the husband honor it?
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"Please make sure you're home early tonight," Mrs. Hyman said to her husband. "We have a dinner to attend at 8:00."
"Remind me," said Bernard Hyman, "which dinner?"
"It's the annual dinner of American Friends of Refuah Hospital in Israel," she answered.
"Unfortunately, something urgent came up at the office," he apologized. "I must make phone calls overseas this evening, so I won't be able to attend, but you go."
When Bernard came home from the office, his wife was getting ready for the dinner.
"Refuah Hospital...," he said thoughtfully. "Isn't that the hospital we gave $36,000 to last year?"
"That's right," answered Mrs. Hyman. "They've embarked on a major campaign this year to renovate the hospital. It's supposed to be quite a fancy dinner."
Mrs. Hyman headed off to the dinner, which was attended by many philanthropists. Pledge cards began with $1,800 for small equipment and reached $2,500,000 for naming a renovated department.
"There has been a dramatic increase in the number of pediatric patients at Refuah during the recent years," announced the hospital director.
"We have attracted top-notch pediatric specialists, and the department is operating way beyond its intended capacity. We are also planning a new, state-of-the-art, pediatric surgical and rehab center."
"Tonight's dinner," he concluded, "is earmarked for the renovation and expansion of the pediatric department. We ask you to open you hearts generously, and your checkbooks..."
Quiet laughter rippled through the crowd.
"...This will enable us to heal more Jewish children and help them resume healthy functioning."
Mrs. Hyman looked at the pledge card. $36,000 barely covered a doctor's office; a treatment room cost $100K. She thought of her own children, the disabled grandchild and her neighbor's son who underwent surgery and months of rehab.
Each year the Hyman's made some very substantial donations to worthy causes. "This seems a proper cause for this year," Mrs. Hyman said to herself. She checked the box to dedicate a treatment room.
When she came home, Bernard asked, "What happened at the dinner?"
"They're renovating the pediatrics department and also opening a pediatric surgical and rehab center," responded his wife. "I decided to dedicate a treatment room: The Bernard and Shirley Hyman Treatment Room."
"How much does that run?" asked her husband.
"$100,000," she said. "It's more than we gave last year, but it's a cause that deserves support."
"You can't make such a large pledge!" gulped Mr. Hyman. "I planned to endow a scholarship fund at the Yeshiva where the boys learned.
Someone also recommended a new employment project for destitute people."
"But I already pledged," said Mrs. Hyman. "I thought you would agree. We can't back out now."
"I'll have to talk this over with Rabbi Tzedek," said Bernard.
He went over to Rabbi Tzedek and asked, "Can my wife obligate me in such a large sum of tzedakah? Can I annul such a pledge?"
Rabbi Tzedek said: "Nowadays, a woman can usually pledge a significant amount to tzedakah without the husband's explicit permission. However, this applies only to a reasonable amount that the husband might authorize her to pledge, which varies from couple to couple, but not to such a large sum. Furthermore, the husband can annul his wife's pledge on the day he hears of it."
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Rabbi Tzedek then explained: "The Shulchan Aruch rules that it is permissible to accept small donations from a woman, but not large ones, since we suspect that she is giving money that belongs to her husband. (Y.D. 248:4) Later authorities note, though, that if the woman manages household finances, as is typical nowadays, she would be entitled to make significant donations if the husband is not known to object. (Yad Avraham ibid.; Pischei Teshuva E.H. 91:1)
However, this depends on the degree of authority that the husband grants his wife in the couple's assets. Such a large sum, she is not
empowered to pledge unilaterally. Certainly, if the husband protests her actions she cannot pledge on his behalf. (Shevet Halevi II:118; Igros Moshe E.H. I:103; Responsa Rosh 13:11)
In addition, a husband is able to annul his wife's vows if they entail self-affliction or impinge upon the marriage, provided that he annuls the vow on the day he hears of it. (Y.D. 234:55,21) Since this pledge causes the husband a loss, it is considered by many poskim as one that impinges upon the marriage and he can annul it." (Minchat Shlomo II:110)
"Therefore, your wife's generous pledge does not obligate you," concluded Rabbi Tzedek. "However, you might consider whether you would like to honor it anyway out of respect for your wife."